Sunday, August 28, 2011

Assignment #3

David the Drunken Squire

David the Drunken Squire has for many years wanted to pass the trials that allow him to be knighted, but his nerves always get the better of him. Such anxieties have bred unhealthy habits such as drinking, which lead him farther away from his goals.

Confidence and assurance are what is needed in this knight-to-be, or else he will most definitely never become a man of merit. What stands in his way are his insecurities, habits and fears. Most prevalent is his fears is that of failure.

As the trials seem to bound towards David he is uneasy until he grasps hold of something that may help him. Legend tells that there is courage for those who travel across the kingdom to the gate of the healer. David sets off on the journey anxious and full of fervor, but also full of doubt, and for this reason he has not forgotten to pack his favorite brand of courage. Unfortunately for him, he fell off the wagon and broke all the spirits that he had, and immediately withdrawals, panic attacks, asthma and sticky fingers ensued. Inhaler in hand and walking the rest of the way he was robbed, attacked by zombie fiends and was the butt of practical jokes played by fawns, yet he made it to the gate of the healer.

At the gate of the healer there wasn't really a wall, just a gate. However, all efforts to move past the gate were rendered insignificant by some sort of misunderstood law of the universe. Birds flying too low would catch a surprise and fly straight into an invisible sort of incomprehensible structure. At the healers gate there was a card, with the words the healers gate, and a receptionist. She asked if David had health insurance, and then asked David to take a seat on some foliage. David waited weeks, but food was easy to come by, because any animal could easily be duped into hitting an invisible wall.

Just as the fifth week had ended a small man with a very long hat dragging against the ground came through the gate and told David that he had to sign a waver before the healer would see him. He signed it quickly and a tall, rectangular faced, youthful looking man came through the gate, cordially introduced himself as the healer, felt David's back, fumbled with his joints a little, muttered a few questions to himself and re-entered the gate. Confused, disgruntled and slightly worried Dave reached for some grapes he had started to ferment, while he had been waiting. Before he had the chance to numb his brain a bit the healer launched the gate from his hands, and it clanged against the invisibility. David stood up reaching ever more furiously for his brew, while keeping his eyes on the healer that ripped towards him. Then David threw up, grabbed his inhaler and wheezed. 

The healer's shoes were not so white as they had once been, but the healer seemed unfazed as he inspected David's  head as one might inspect a maze. Next he forced some pills into David's hand. Placebo was printed in large letters on the cap. Eye contact was made firmly and a smile visited the healers face, but remained distant from David's. At this the healer left, and David was left with many questions.

Why would he mark them as placebos? Were they really placebos? What did he even do? Could he even know why David had come there? Was he a quack? He seemed like a quack.

Holding onto the pills he decided it was foolish to do away with them, so he held onto them. Next on the list of decisions he replaced his brew with pills. Early in this process he realized that each "pill" was actually sugary candy, yet he stuck to his constitution and would not drink. Candy replaced all drinking making for a dull story.

When he had returned to the king's castle he faced the trials in spite of puke, asthma and tears. He faced it head on in all of its grief, yet perseverance allowed him an honor. None had seen such a hardworking knight.

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